When the word abuse is used, people’s minds often go straight to physical abuse and with good reason. Physical abuse is horrible. Physical abuse is 100% preventable and 100% wrong. It is a mistake to stop there, however. For sure, physical abuse can result in permanent physical and psychological damage or even death, but there are other types of abuse where the damage doesn’t really show on the outside but lasts much long longer than bruises or even broken bones.
I came across this blog post years ago. It has clung to my mind ever since I read it. It is probably one of the most poignant and meaningful posts I have ever read. I never seem to remember its location, but I can always find it by typing in the search “little girl. funeral. I hate ants.”
I think most people have been on the receiving end of a judgement made without the other party knowing the full story. Most people have probably been guilty of doing the same thing at one time or another. Many times there is not much on the line when we do this. We decide that the cashier is a really unfriendly person without knowing they just got reamed out by the customer before us. We leave without acting on it but have made a judgement nonetheless.
One of the things I knew from the outset was that I needed a counselor who understood the situation for what it was. While I realize that this can be said of any counseling situation, this one has a caveat. It appears that in Christian circles conflict between husband and wife is often relegated to being labeled as “marriage problems,” and when marriage problems arise, marriage counseling is prescribed.